| Alabama | At Least We're not Mississippi |
|---|---|
| Alaska | 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong! |
| Arizona | But It's a Dry Heat |
| Arkansas | Litterasy Ain't Everthing |
| California | As Seen on TV |
| Colorado | If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother |
| Connecticut | Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character |
| Delaware | We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water |
| Florida | Ask Us About Our Grandkids |
| Georgia | We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism |
| Hawaii | Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money) |
| Idaho | More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay,We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good |
| Illinois | Please Don't Pronounce the "S" |
| Indiana | 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free |
| Iowa | We Do Amazing Things With Corn |
| Kansas | First Of The Rectangle States |
| Kentucky | Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names |
| Louisiana | We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign |
| Maine | We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster |
| Maryland | A Thinking Man's Delaware |
| Massachusetts | Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most TaxBrackets) |
| Michigan | First Line of Defense From the Canadians |
| Minnesota | "10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000 Mosquitoes" |
| Mississippi | Come Feel Better About Your Own State |
| Missouri | Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars atWork |
| Montana | Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else |
| Nebraska | Ask About Our State Motto Contest |
| Nevada | Whores and Poker! |
| New Hampshire | Go Away and Leave Us Alone |
| New Jersey | Ya Wanna ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##!Motto Right Here! |
| New Mexico | Lizards Make Excellent Pets |
| New York | You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney... |
| North Carolina | Tobacco is a Vegetable |
| North Dakota | We Really are One of the 50 States! |
| Ohio | We Wish We Were In Michigan |
| Oklahoma | Like the Play, only No Singing |
| Oregon | Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner |
| Pennsylvania | Cook With Coal |
| Rhode Island | We're Not REALLY An Island |
| South Carolina | Remember the Civil War? We Didn'tActually Surrender |
| South Dakota | Closer Than North Dakota |
| Tennessee | The Educashun State |
| Texas | Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I speakEnglish) |
| Utah | Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus |
| Vermont | Yep |
| Virginia | Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix? |
| Washington | Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers! |
| Washington, D.C. | Wanna Be Mayor? |
| West Virginia | One Big Happy Family-Really! |
| Wisconsin | Eat Cheese or Die |
| Wyoming | Wynot? |