Q.  What do you call a handcuffed man?
A.  Trustworthy.

Q.  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A.  You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q.  Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
A.  Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Q.  Why do men like smart women?
A.  Opposites attract.

Q.  How do men exercise on the beach?
A.  By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini

Q.  How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A.  ONE .........He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q.  What did God say after creating man?
A.  I can do so much better.

Q.  What's the best way to force a man to do sit ups?
A.  Put the remote control between his toes.

Q.  What's the smartest thing a man can say?
A.  "My wife says..."

Q.  Why are all dumb blonde jokes one liners?
A.  So men can understand them.

Q.  Why did God create man before woman?
A.  Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.

Q.  Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
A.  To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q.  Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
A.  To keep them from grazing.

Q.  Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
A.  Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

And the topper is...

Q.  Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
A.  Because not one will stop and ask for directions.....