Everyone wants to be successful in life. Here is another version of just
what success really is.

SUCCESS

At age 4, success is ........not peeing in your pants.
At age 12, success is.......having friends.
At age 20, success is ......having sex.
At age 35, success is.......making money.
At age 60, success is.......having sex.
At age 70, success is.......having friends.
At age 80, success is.......not peeing in your pants.

That about sums it all up!!!

OLD TIMER IS ONE WHO...

    [1] can remember when folks sat down at the table to count their blessings   instead of calories;

    [2] who remembers when people wearing blue jeans worked;

    [3] who remembers back to when a telephone was a convenience;

    [4] remembers when "setting the world on fire" was a figure of  speech;

    [5] who distinctly remembers the 5-cent cigar but forgets the 10-hour, 6-day   workweek;

    [6] remembers when the red menace was made of flannel, had a flap in the back, and was donned in the winter;

    [7] a guy who realizes that his kid's history lessons are what he read in the newspapers;

    [8] remember when you bought $5 worth of groceries, the clerk reminded you to hold the bag by the bottom;

    [9] remembers when a juvenile delinquent was a youngster returning  from the woodshed; ( "})= amen...

    [10] a man who is old enough not to care what anyone says about him -- and no one does;

    [11] is a senior citizen who can remember when you could get the land-lord to fix anything by threatening to move;

    [12] remember when you didn't even think of Christmas  shopping until after Thanksgiving;

    [13] recalls that the only improper things you learned in school were fractions;

    [14] remember the time when it was easy to distinguish between a bathing beach and a nudest camp;

    [15] remember when you could light a cigarette at either end;

    [16] remember when there was hot criticism of the extravagance of a government when it gave away free garden seeds;

    [17] remember when charity was a virtue, and not an industry;

    [18] can recollect when a new baby was considered an addition instead of  a deduction;

    [19] remember when his only parking was getting a girl to say okay

    [20] remember when a lady looked the same after washing her face;

    [21] can remember when the sky was the limit;

    [22] who remembers when buttons were sewn -- not pushed

=====
You Know You're 'Over the Hill' If...
1. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
2. Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
3. Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
4. When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip   out...and it stays
out.
5. You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
6. You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
7. You look both ways before crossing a room.
8. Cafeteria food starts tasting GOOD.
9. Your childhood toys are now in a museum.
10. All of your favorite movies are now revised in color.