Now A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, 
C is the chest pains, perhaps cardiac? 
D is for dental decay and decline, 
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention, 
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention. 
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low; 
I for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend, 
K is for knees that crack when they bend. 
L for libido, what happened to sex? 
M is for memory, I forget what comes next!

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low; 
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow! 
P for prescription's, I have quite a few, 
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? 
R for reflux, one meal turns to two. 
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears, 
T for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!

U is for urinary; big troubles with flow; 
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know. 
W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round? 
X is for X ray, and what might be found.

Y is another year I'm left here behind, 
Z is for zest that I still have-- in my mind. 
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, 
and I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!!!.