These are real ones.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
    8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.
               ------------------------------
    FREE PUPPIES:
    1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
    1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG
               ------------------------------
    FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD PART
  STUPID DOG
               ------------------------------
    GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
    NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.
               ----------------------------------
 
    FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A
  RAT...BEEN OUT AWHILE..
    BETTER BE REWARD.
               ----------------------------------
 
    1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB -- $850/offer
               ----------------------------
    SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
    ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.
               -------------------------------
    2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES:
    1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR: $15
               ------------------------------
    TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX,
    COMES WITH ITS OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO,
    EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
               ------------------------------
    COWS, CALVES, NEVER BRED...
    ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.
               ----------------------------------
 
    FULL SIZED MATTRESS.
    20 YR. WARRANTY. LIKE NEW.
    SLIGHT URINE SMELL.
               ----------------------------------
 
    NORDIC TRACK $300
    HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY
               ----------------------------------
 
    BILL'S SEPTIC CLEANING
    "WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS"
               ----------------------------------
 
    SHAKESPEARE'S PIZZA -
    FREE CHOPSTICKS
               ----------------------------------
 
    HUMMELS-LARGEST SELECTION EVER
    "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"
               ----------------------------------
 
    HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
               ----------------------------------
 
    GEORGIA PEACHES
    CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.
               ----------------------------------
 
    PARACHUTE FOR SALE
    NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE
               ----------------------------------
 
    TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE
  OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND
    FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER
  HOUR.
               ----------------------------------
 
    EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
    QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.
               ----------------------------------
 
    OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT'S MADE OF
  100% ITALIAN LEATHER.
               ----------------------------------
 
    JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
    MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER
    $300.
               ----------------------------------
 
    ALZHEIMER'S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO
  REMEMBER
               ----------------------------------
 
    OPEN HOUSE
    BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON
    FREE COFFEE & DONUTS
               ----------------------------------
 
    AND THE BEST ONE
 
    FOR SALE BY OWNER
    Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45
  volumes. Excellent
    condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer
  needed. Got married last
    weekend. Wife knows everything.