A young seaman who was going through quals saw the shiny badge of achievement on CTR3 Kenyons belt and asked him if he was qualified and said if he wasnt he should remove the belt buckle at once. Kenyon, being the smart ass that he was, told him to f*** off and die, and further stated, if I spent my f***ing money on it, Ill damn well wear it if-and-when the f*** I want

Well, obviously this didn't sit well with the boats crew. So a devious plan was put in place to teach Numbnuts Kenyon a lesson. A couple of days after we were underway from Ballast Point, the boat began to blow sanitaries from various heads. Kenyon, who was sitting on the mess deck playing cards, announced that he had to go take a leak. He asked one of the messmen which head was open. The guy stalled a moment while someone went back and removed the BLOWING SANITARIES - HEAD SECURED sign, and then told Kenyon that the aft head near the galley was open. So, Numbnuts Kenyon swaggered back to the head. As soon as he entered they put the HEAD SECURED sign back up on the hatch. (For you pukes who have never been on a boat before, Submarines have two, three, sometimes four, tanks that hold waste matter.

To use the toilet or urinal, for example, after you do your business, you open a valve between the bowl and the sanitary tanks and then open a different valve to flush the waste into the holding tank. When the holding tanks fills up, One remains open for business.the others are emptied. The evolution is called "Blowing Sanitaries". To blow sanitaries, the valves between the tanks and the drains are closed and an external valve is then opened to allow high pressure air into the tank, the pressure forces the waste matter out into the sea. Kinda like the sub is taking a dump.)

Okay, back to the sea story:

Picture this, Numbnuts is standing at the urinal, finishes his business, and opens the valve to flush. There was a three second high-pitched whistle sound followed by a very loud shriek from Numbnuts. Everybody on the messdecks was rolling on the floor howling when the XO strolls in and asks what everyone is laughing about. Right about then, Kenyon comes out of the head with neat line of piss and shit splattered from the top of his head down to the bottom of his shirt pocket. He is also holding his belt buckle in hand, which he ceremoniously lays on a table and states I wont be wearing these anymore

Not only did Numbnuts have to sanitize and scrub clean the head, but the XO put him on report for failure to abide by the "HEAD SECURED" sign.