Well !

THERE I WAS>>>>!

FLAT ON MY BACK AT ANGELS TWELVE, the sun in my eyes and a pain in my back seat—and then it happened!!!!

It was on a fragged VR and photo recon with a REMF as GIB, to verify that snow really had fallen earlier this year. Briefing was normal, as was the takeoff, though I didn’t gather my GIB had spent much time looking up at dirt as we exited the traffic pattern. Check in with GOD/FAA (who can tell the difference?) was normal as we crossed the fence over main street, with a blue parrot squawking 1200, on the 089 radial outbound.

Little or no ground fire was observed as we counted tree leaves for a while at base plus 10, easing up to ground level at 10,500 as we passed the 15 DME enroute to the target area—098/16 DME off the KCDC omni. But at base plus 12 things began to get a little shaky… too much blue sky and I was enjoying myself far too much. Pushing the envelope I suppose, but I hate to miss a good chance to get out of the office.

Government training at the cost of millions of dollars and years of experience prompted me to recognize a good case of the worms in the area. The message was received with good conscience since the message said I was where I thought I was, and that paresthesia was an approved FAA indicator for the same. So I traded a little blue for a lot of brown and suggested to the GIB that some vertical shots of the snow field would be in good order, expecting to dump off the nitrogen narcosis on the way earthward.

Didn’t happen!

So in your face… I can do better than this! Besides I was having so much fun a little hypoxia could do nothing but add to the euphoria could it??? Barreled down the State Route 14 at an average altitude of between 10 and 6,000 feet, depending on karst fingers, and then headed to the Lufbury over the field. Biggest concern was the thought of landing with fuel still on board and having to face C3. Now, I don’t usually cut the pattern but then not many people really appreciate a good overhead pattern as it is. Besides, is it my problem if they can’t take a joke?? Hand salute and to heck with em.’

On an active runway for taxiback, (ok, so it was nearly a 200 ft rollout, but I was in a good mood!) thinking that C Cubed Bob would be proud of me for keeping his bird clean (at least it was clean on the outside). I even considered that I would stick it in his hangar if he was goofing off somewhere. Problem was, even with the toll paid, my love tingles persisted, and I hadn’t even made it to the bar! Being chased by the addition of hot flashes made me wonder if I could even find it… no more Singh Hai and Chevas! I hoped I could still remember who mixed the last one? Oh well, nuther day and two bits.

Seemed me like this would be a good time to seek sympathy among the nurses though, at least I could feign a war story through creative intellect--maybe abominable snow persons and yellow snow attacking me. But when I got to the hooch the party was just beginning. It must have been an early return by the Night Guys, but I was really ticked they were starting without me. Didn’t take too long for things to warm up though, steely pilot type that I am, a bunch of not so beautiful nurses jumped all over me and plied me with wine and strong drink… at least they had good taste in pilots?

Bout that time I woke up with a following head ache and a lot of chatter, finally figured out there was actually another party, and this one must have gotten pretty dead at times. Anyway, someone called for the ramp tramp and off we went, skirts and hats flying in the breeze and more than a few bottles tossed along the way… but there was no good reason for them to sit on me was there? Oh well, probably not enough room for the cute ones.

Next party was a scream… movies were not very good though.

By then I was tired of people sitting on me anyway, so after a good snort and some green jello and I figured they could carry on without me for the rest of this mission. Figured I could put R2 in charge and I’d visit the SOG farm with Blaster to get some sleep.

Great idea, but the wakeup was not at all what I expected.

Shanghai’d it was. Everyone seemed to want a piece of my body. Now, I can understand some of that, but the needle people could have waited until I could fight back, couldn’t they? And if that wasn’t enough, someone had fessed about the party and the whole world showed up to do it again! Even some pukes that missed out on the carrier landings, Chirps, Markers, Nails, Gombies Coveys, and a couple of strap hanging lost cousins hoping to claim my pucker string. The place was a mess, and me in my condition… I couldn’t even dance! but that didn’t seem to stop anyone from holding my hand.

After the movies ended the third time and realizing how bad the food was I didn’t figure it would take too long for the crowd to disburse, and I was right. It was either that, or it was the last of the nurses that scared them away. Left to my own devices again, I picked out a really cute red head that looked familiar, and Invited her to E&E to someplace that was not nearly so sociable. Worked out great! What a ride!

So, if any of you have any indication of where I am or what I am doing, please don’t tell anyone… just stop by for some green jello when you get a chance?

Oh yes… BDA Five stints, 6 mo recovery, lost Class II, and five nurses quit the hospital… but the REMF got his pictures and the air chine ain’t even broked.

Fly Safe…. movie at 11

Al Matheson Nail 213