COLD ENOUGH FOR YOU?


 60 above zero:
 Floridians turn on the heat.
 People in New England plant gardens.


 50 above zero:
 Californians shiver uncontrollably
 People in New England sunbathe.


 40 above zero:
 Italian & English cars won't start.
 People in New England drive with their windows down.


 32 above zero:
 Distilled water freezes.
 Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.


 20 above zero:
 NYers don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
 People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.


 15 above zero:
 New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
 People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.


 Zero:
 People in Miami all die.
 New Englanders close the window.


 10 below zero:
 Californians fly away to Mexico.
 People in New England get out their winter coats.


 25 below zero:
 Hollywood disintegrates.
 The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.


 40 below zero:
 Washington, DC runs out of hot air. (this will never happen!) People
 in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.


 100 below zero:
 Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
 New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start the "kah."


 460 below zero:
 All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale).
 People in New England say, "Cold 'nuf for ya?"


 500 below zero:
 Hell freezes over
 Red Sox win World Series