you believe you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven.
  you have never sung the third verse of any hymn.
  you think that someone who says "amen" while the preacher
    is preaching is charismatic.
  you complain because your pastor only works one day a week
    and then he works too long.
  you clapped in church last Sunday and felt guilty all week.
  you're old enough to get Senior Citizens discounts, but not old
    enough to promote into the Senior Adult Department.
  you woke up craving fried chicken, mashed potatoes & green beans
   and interpreted it as a call to preach.
  you think the epistles are the wives of the apostles.
  you think the Holy Land is Nashville.
  you think God's presence in always strongest in the last three pews.
  you think John the Baptist founded the Southern Baptist Convention.
  you think "Victory in Jesus" is the national anthem.
  the first complete sentence you uttered was "we've never done it that way before".
  you think judge the quality of the sermon by the amount of sweat
    worked up by the preacher.
  you definition of "Fellowship" has something to do with food.
  you have ever wondered when Lottie Moon and
    Annie Armstrong will be paid off.
  you honestly believe the Apostle Paul spoke King James English.
  you think worship service music has been too loud.
  you think Welsh's grape juice and saltines were served at the Last Supper.