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Question: How many days in a week? 
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday  

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime? 
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.  

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? 
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.  

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees? 
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.  

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors? 
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.  

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire? 
Answer: Tied shoes.  

Question: Why do retirees count pennies? 
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.  

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses  to retire? 
Answer: NUTS!  

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or  garage? 
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will  want to store stuff there.  

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch? 
Answer: Normal.  

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement? 
Answers: The never ending Coffee Break.  

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a  retiree? 
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.  

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses  the people he used to work with?  Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.